i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I faked an abortion last night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
