She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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