Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
