Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
