Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
