If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
