Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
