Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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