Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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