Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
