dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
