It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
