Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
