apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
