Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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