1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
