Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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