thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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