he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
