what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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