Don't make out with my wife yet
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
