my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
