I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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