Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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