I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
