I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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