I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
