Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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