Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
