he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
