and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
