WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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