can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
