Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
