I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
