The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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