Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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