Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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