So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
