I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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