Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
