my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
