I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
