I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All the doctor said was why
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
