a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
