butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
