You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
