Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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