I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
