I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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