Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
