wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
